Movie Review - Jurassic World

Jurassic World

2015

The Cast

Since the early '90's I've enjoyed the Jurassic Park novels and movies.  Not only were they groundbreaking for their special effects but they were intelligent stories, which were well filmed and acted by a stellar cast.  I even have to admit to enjoying the third film in the series, which a lot of people have put down.  So, when I saw this episode was on the drawing board I was a happy bunny.  However, when I saw the cast line up and the story synopsis I decided I'd wait until the film made it onto telly.  Two years from the release and the movie is on...  Boy, was I glad I waited(?)  What the hell were the writers and director thinking of(?)  There are so many holes in the story it leaks crap in the majority of scenes.  The acting ranges from abysmal to average.  And, the special effects appear to be below par for the time - the opening corvid shot is really horrendous.

Poor Michael Crichton is turning in his grave.

What the first three films showed was that Murphy's Law was more than prevalent on an island where dinosaurs roamed.  So what do we find when the film starts(?)  The park is open and has been running for a few years.  You just know they've been lucky so far and that their luck is soon to run out.  Then we learn the scientists are creating new "Dinosaurs" to keep the punters happy and spending their money.  I can hear Malcolm screaming now, "Will these idiots ever learn?" - Evidently not Malcolm.  Even worse is that on the other side of the island they're trying to train raptors.  Though we're never really told why they're being trained, there is a military element which wants them as weapons (yawn, what else(?)...).  I think it's because somebody had a great idea for a CGI scene later in the film... and this is the only way they could link it in.

This leads me to the CGI Choreography because this is what it is.  There are sometimes when it's just way too overcooked to be believable.  The nannies, Zara's (Katie McGrath) dance of death is a particular case in subject.  For me, this was just ludicrous and stupid.

Back to the errors in the story, saying that there were no "Dangerous" animals on the island so the customers were never at risk was an outright lie.  Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard), who runs the island actually believes this, even though the latest creation, which she signed off on, is very dangerous... as well as the raptors... which she also knew about... then at the climax of the film... well, this is one woman you shouldn't trust - ever.

One annoying thing, for me, was when Claire reprimands a colleague for wearing an antique Jurassic Park T-Shirt because it could be upsetting to the customers because people died there.  The thing is, he never mingles with the vacationers.  Secondly, the voice on the tannoy, at one point, actually welcomes everybody to Jurassic Park - Not Jurassic World!

I also hated the kids in this film.  A geek and a trainee stalker.  At least with the original kids, Tim and Lex you could relate to them, this, on the whole, is because there were well written and well acted.  Grey (Ty Simpkins) and Zack (Nick Robinson) are pretty two dimensional and boring, which can also be said for the rest of the cast, especially Claire.  Only Chris Pratt, as Owen, and Vincent D'Onofrio, as Hoskins, give decent performances, though their characters are very cliched.

This is one boring, seen it all before, cliche-ridden film that I'd not recommend to anyone - even if the end scene is quite entertaining.  I'll not watch this again and I cannot believe there's a sequel in the pipeline.

I give this prehistoric turkey a Jurassic 4.25 out of 10.

The Trailer

Honest Trailers (just 'cause it's awesomely funny)

- BEWARE SPOILERS -

How It Should Have Ended (just 'cause it's better than the film)

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Everything Wrong With...  (just 'cause I support this guy's talent)

- SPOILERS DOH!!! -

Movie Review - Firequake

Firequake

2014

The Cast

I am a lover of B-Movies and usually the worse the better. I say this because usually the writer, director, and actors will generally try to give us something entertaining - and I thank them for that, a lot of my happiest times have been in front of B-Movies. However, there are times, such as this, when it appears that nobody really gave a damn about the film. Which is a shame as the concept isn't too bad for an ecological disaster flick. As we are running out of fuel we need to find new ways to generate power and Dr Eve Carter, played by Alexandra Paul, has come up with a way to use the sustainable energy from magma to create clean and free energy. The trouble is that this is where the writer ran out of good ideas and hit the cliche book for inspiration. Everything from here on out is so "By The Book" it's risible and ridiculous... and very boring as we've seen it all before.

I have to give credit to Paul and her co-star Browne who played Killian, as these obviously didn't get the memo and decided to actually try and give a decent acting job with the script and direction they were given. Sorry to say that this just wasn't enough. The worst actress, by far, was Barker who played Dr Carter's daughter, Nikki. Though she was supposed to be sixteen she looked to be more in her thirties and delivered her lines with the force of a sledgehammer. As for the rest of the actors, well they ranged from dire to wooden.

The direction of the film didn't help any as the director was very poor at creating an atmosphere of tension and excitement. He just plods the audience along with the story. Instead of sitting on the edge of my seat I was twiddling my fingers in an effort to stay awake. Even the special effects that were on offer were substandard - they didn't even rise to the dizzying heights of poor.

The one thing that made me smile was that all the roads in Prague appear to lead to the same intersection. When Dr Carter and her daughter are searching the town for a pharmacist and insulin, they seem to get stuck in a temporal location warp. Which doesn't allow them to leave one particularly badly staged intersection. It's also amazing that in all of Prague the bad guy can home in on them amazingly fast.

There's an awful lot wrong with this motion picture and very little that's right... and nothing to recommend anybody to watch. Stay well clear of this film.

I give this a blisteringly bad 2.5 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - Ghost In The Shell [Live-Action]

Ghost In The Shell

2017

Paramount Pictures / DreamWorks / Reliance Entertainment / Shanghai Film Group/ Huahua Media / Arad Productions / Steven Paul Production / Amblin Partners / Grosvenor Park Productions / Seaside Entertainment / Weying Galaxy Entertainment

Paramount Pictures

4 / 10

There's a problem with re-filming classic and iconic movies and that is perception.  This film fails mostly due to the writers and directors not knowing what they wanted from this movie.  They had a massive budget to craft and create a beautiful and thought-provoking piece of art.  Was the estimated $110,000,000 worth it... NO!  Not one penny of it.

The writers strangely opted to not tell the original story but to create a mish-mash of the Original 1995 Ghost In The Shell Movie and the Second Gig of the 2004 Series, along with the Basset Hound from the less-than-stellar Ghost In The Shell II: Innocence and make it a 12a Certificate (WHY?).  Unfortunately by doing this the messages which the originals gave the audience is lost.  In fact, the idea of "The Ghost" is so heavy-handedly hammered into you I thought I might need a doctor.  If the writers, Jamie Moss, William Wheeler, and Ehren Kruger couldn't come up with a decent original story based on the G.I.T.S. Universe than a straight forward remake would have been better.  To be honest, now that A.I.'s are closer than ever the original story would have been more poignant.

As for the direction, this was lazy, to say the least as director, Rupert Sanders copies some scenes and mixes others together.  All the original shots within the film are pretty unimpressive.

I also hope that the acting and characterisations of the cast were down to Sanders vision of the movie as most of them put in sub-standard portrayals.  The worst of which is Takeshi Kitano who plays Section 9's leader Aramaki.  This character is wily like a fox, though does show quite a bit of emotion on his face and in his voice.  Kitano just feels like he turned up, said his lines, then went home.  It's such a lacklustre appearance that in some scenes I thought Sanders had just inserted a still shot and dubbed the speech over.  As for Scarlett Johansson their's nowhere near enough presence or assurance in her portrayal of the major.  For most of the scenes, she skulks around with her head down.  This is a strong and assured character.  Bad guys and people, in general, should be weary of her.  This could be down to the butchering of her backstory that Moss, Wheeler, and Kruger did.  Not only does it lessen the character but is nonsensical and quite stupid.  The only one who comes out of this film looking good is Pilou Asbaek as his Batou was pretty decent, though the writers again messed up a solid backstory - though not so bad this time.

As for the special effects and CGI, these were okay, though not too impressive.  However, the Geisha sequence is really good, as is the arm tearing sequence, and I really like the doctor's eyes and the PA's fingers.which kept in with the original.  Though the fight sequences were a little strange.  In the Geisha fight scene, the Major hangs too long in the air; then in the Bin-Man Puppet fight there are times when his movement through the air doesn't look right, it's as if the harness wasn't working right and they were pushed for time...  The worst thing though is the streets.  I don't mind that they are garishly lit, as this may be the case, it's the huge holographic people throughout.  This wouldn't be too bad if you can figure out what they were selling but they just appear to be people doing... well, not much at all, really.

Since the original films are still available I would strongly recommend you watch them instead of this.  Even Innocence, which is the weakest of the series, is much stronger in story and characterisation.  However, if you still haven't watched the original, why not?  Find yourself a copy, it is a beautiful and intelligent movie.  Something this should have been.  I cannot understand why they did this to something that was so good, to begin with.  Do they know that the saying isn't "If it ain't broke... BREAK IT!"  Well, it goes to show that it doesn't matter how much money you throw at something... if the talent isn't there, or it isn't used to it's fullest potential, then you will usually get a pile of...

Video Nasty - Cannibal Apocalypse

Cannibal Apocalypse

1980

Edmondo Amati Presents / Jose Frade Producciones Cinematograficas S A / New Fida

Almi Cinema 5 / Cinefear / Replay Video / Video Program Distributors VPD

5.25 / 10

What the writers Antonio Margheriti, who also directed, and Dardano Sacchetti give the viewers of Cannibal Apocalypse is a cannibalistic thriller with a twist of zombie fetish... and it works.

While fighting in the Vietnam war Charlie Buckowski and Tom Thompson are captured and imprisoned in a pit with very little to eat.  During a rescue by Norman Hopper a Vietcong falls into the pit; unfortunately for her, the prisoners are ravenous and start to tear her apart with their teeth as they feast.  Once back in the USA all of the team are subject to psychological tests.  Though it's only when Charlie is released that things start to take a darker turn.  As he's trying to kill time by going to the cinema he has the urge to devour the woman in the seat in front of him.  As she and her amorous boyfriend start to make out Charlie leans forward and takes a bite...  Meanwhile, Hopper who was bitten by Charlie during the rescue is starting to feel the hunger too...    Can the apocalypse be stopped before everybody become infected?

However, it's the rest of the pieces which deter from the film.  The acting, on the whole, is above average, even Giovanni Lombardo Radice (Charlie) performs better than he did in Cannibal Ferox.  John Saxon does a more than passable portrayal as Hopper, a man trying to help his friend while trying to resolve the mystery.  There's even a shining light in the shape of Cinzia De Carolis who is brilliant as the blossoming teenager Mary who has a crush on  Hopper.  Even Luca Venantini as Bobby (Mary's younger brother) gives a few good creepy kid scares.  However, it's Tony King's over-the-top acting as Thompson that hinders the film, as well as the actors representing the bike gang, and most of the extra's.

The direction, though above average could have been helped by adding a little more action as well as tension to the atmosphere of the film as the pace of the story is pretty regular throughout, another drawback to this type of movie.  A few iconic shots and differing camera angles wouldn't have gone amiss either.  However, the bad lines in the film actually help to keep the audience unintentionally entertained.  I loved the scene where the cop transforms into a Cannibal and when his superior officer confronts him, while he's devouring a colleagues hand, he says in a caring tone, "My God son, put it down."  Awesome scene.

This is an enjoyable film and I would definitely recommend it to everyone especially if you like Zombies or Cannibals.  This is, in fact, storywise, one of the strongest Cannibal movies made.  Since it doesn't feel like a horror film, as there's not enough eeriness (which is harder to create due to it being shot mainly in daylight) you can enjoy it in the full daylight - no need to watch at night or in the darkness behind closed curtains.  Well worth one viewing, though you may just find yourself coming back to it again... and again...

Nergling - The Video Nasties Scare - Cannibal Apocalypse

Free Kindle Sci-Fi Short Story

The Last Doctor

A Sci-Fi Urban Mystery:

The Government Rain Mysteries.

By L A Frederick.

Can he escape?

Over the past six months, the Doctor has become riddled with doubt. Is the work he is doing at the mysterious Newton Street facility immoral? Has he gone too far? Is it time to get out of the urban jungle that is New Hampton? Can he even get out with Doctor Zhirkov and Darkmore in charge?

Q - So, what makes the Government Rain Mysteries special?

L A F - I've always enjoyed reading dark, mysterious books that leave me desperate for answers, and the Government Rain Mysteries are my interpretation of the macabre, urban, mystery genres. 

I've forever been engrossed with science fiction that touches on the unexplainable, that baffles, intrigues and gets you turning to the next page hoping to find the answers. With The Government Rain Mysteries, I hope to leave the reader puzzled, gripped and, potentially, a little uneasy and questioning. How is that possible? Why are they doing that? 

The Government Rain Mysteries are a brutal look at an urban setting with gruesome science fiction thrown in to leave the reader confused, gripped and potentially a little scared... 

The Last Doctor: An Urban Mystery- The Government Rain Mysteries Categories:

- Sci-fi Urban Mystery

- Dark Urban Mystery

- Mystery Mutants

- Urban Dark

- Dark Mystery

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- Dark Sci-fi

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Movie Review - Plan 9

Plan 9

2015

Darkstone Entertainment

Bounty Films / Gravitas Ventures

6.25 / 10

To be honest, I cannot believe that somebody had the balls to remake Plan 9 From Out Of Space since this was voted the worst film ever made and boasted the worst dialogue and scenes ever put on celluloid.  Even though it flopped it later gained a classic status for its wrongness.  I have to say I have a warm place in my heart for it.

So when I caught the trailer for Plan 9 I knew I had to give it at least one viewing.

The major trouble with the movie is the writer and director John Johnson.  When you take on a project such as this one you have to decide what to keep, what to change, what to eradicate, and what to add and it's here where all his problems arise.  The original is loved because it is so bad on so many fronts so you have to keep some of these bad issues in the movie as well as add some, though you have to make it humourous to keep your audience.  In some of the other reviews, it's been noted about all the fourth wall shout-outs to other films.  I believe this to be intentional and in the "bad" mode, though he may have taken it too far.  Also, there are lots of similarities to Romero's Night Of The Living Dead and other Zombie films.  I believe Johnson took Plan 9 down the zombie road to pay homage to the movie and send up the sub-genre (it's also not a bad thing as there's a lot of Z-lovers out there, so it gives him a ready-made audience - which is what Edward D Wood Jr did).  Though he does keep enough science fiction elements to keep it in this genre.  For me the Z's took second place, it wasn't about them it was about the annihilation of mankind so we could all be used as cheap fuel.

As for the acting, most of it is average, though on Mr Lobo's part I believe this was intentional, and he does gloriously over-act at times.  Whereas, Brian Krause is back on form as the male lead role Jeff Trent.  Though it's James Rolfe as the policeman that gets some of the better, and funnier, lines and scenes.  I found Sara Eshleman as Lucy Grimm a little wooden though again this could have been intentional in homage to the original.  If this is the case then she's a good actress as she does wooden well.  However, it does make for enjoying the movie a little difficult as it's a great excuse for anything which didn't work too well... it was a homage!

It would have been nice for Johnson not to pay homage to the film by trying to add elements to his remake but to make a straight forward sci-fi flick based on the original story.  He proved he can add tension and an atmosphere of dread as is shown with the arrival of the aliens themselves.  They were a nice twist as they came to the town members as human, they clearly weren't.  Johnson even did an okay job with the action when the heroes go after the aliens.  If the same mood and quality had been used throughout we might have had a decent film and not this strange homage.

On the whole, the movie works and is nicely filmed.  I would gladly recommend it as it is a decent "leave your brain at the door" waste of time.  It definitely isn't the worst movie out there... that's the original...  Though this is at least worth one viewing on a cold and wet night when there's nothing better to do.  However, I do believe this film to be of the "Marmite" Syndrome - you'll either like it or loathe it.  It made me smile and laugh more than grimace and frown, so I love it.

Movie Review - It Came From Outer Space II

It Came From Outer Space II

1996 

Duchowny Dow Films

MCA Home Entertainment / Universal Studios Home Entertainment

5.5 / 10

It was Ray Bradbury's name that brought this movie to my attention.  Just before Christmas and before I started reviewing I had watched, and enjoyed, the original.  So there wasn't much choice but to view the sequel... even though it's not.  This is actually a brought-up-to-date remake.

However, even though it has Bradbury's name it wasn't as good as I hoped it would be.  That is probably due to him not having his screenplay filmed.  He actually had four screenplays for the movie and none of them was chosen, not for the original and not for this remake (Harry Essex scripted the original while Ken and Jim Wheat have written this one.)  I've not read the Bradbury versions, though being a fan I can honestly believe they might be better than what we received here.  Since he was still alive when this was filmed I would have asked him to update the script for the modern age.  Had there been issues with the original, his gained experience from 1953 to '96 should have been able to smooth them out.

That said, Ken and Jim Wheat don't do a bad job of bringing this film up to date.  However, they're not too good at characterisation or flow.  Though some of this could be down to the director Roger Duchowny.   What this needed was an injection of excitement and relatable characters.  Most of the people in the town are bleak and depressing; though this is believable, the way they are handled makes them more two-dimensional than possessing deep personalities and was a major cause of my boredom.  Even the likes of Elizabeth Pena, Dean Norris, and Mickey Jones who are good actors and had a few decent scene's still couldn't inject life into the dullness.

The other cause of my dissatisfaction is the slowness of the pace.  This could have been used to create atmosphere and draw the viewer in.  Sadly this wasn't the case and only added to the films dullness.

The special effects are okay for the period and there are some nice ideas though due to the slow pace and the way they were shown their impact is dulled and not fully utilised.  

This is one of those films I would recommend to only the die-hard sci-fi fans and lovers of the original film.  However, if you want to watch a decent film I'd say watch the original as it's much better on every count, especially if you've never seen it.  There's a reason it's a classic and this one is seldom heard of.